How Role-Playing Offers a Way to Heal

Have you noticed that children act like their parents or caregivers, when they take the role of adult in games of make believe and reflect their observations? If they are exposed to angry conversations of adults, that is how they play their roles in the games. The game settings and rules are based on their observations, which turn into their insights as they get older. Make believe games are a natural way of learning how to become individuals. Children try different roles, and if they suit them, they stick to them.

Then, children become adults and stop playing because they get busy with their lives. They forget how role-playing is important for us at any age to understand who we are. How do we react when so and so happens? Is the reaction really coming from us or something we acquired? What is the first similar reaction we experienced? When did it happen? Who was with us? What did we do? How did we feel? If you are interested in personal development, you probably are familiar with these questions. When we notice a pattern of feelings, behaviors or emotions, we ask these questions to understand the root cause of the pattern and bring light into it.

You also can follow the same practice in role-playing games. Yes, we are adults and we don’t have time for games, but hear me out. In role-playing games, players assume the roles of characters in a fictional setting. Acting on a prompt is surprisingly interesting.

Here’s how it works: A game facilitator describes a situation in a few sentences, and the players act it out without thinking. Spontaneous acting comes from your body. Your mind is not much involved, so it cannot censor your stand. Your game partner(s) would do the same – back and forth in a believable interaction while you use body language and words spoken. You would improvise the story. Even though it is a game, it can reveal a lot of sparks and shadows in you that you may not be even aware of. After the game, you could ask yourself why you acted in the way you acted.

When I played this game, I was assigned to the role of a person who was finding out her roommate was moving out unexpectedly. I remember my heart was racing while I tried to act cool. Even after the game ended, my anger did not. Where was that f*ing anger coming from? I realized that I interpreted the action of my roommate in the game as a betrayal that I could have experienced in my personal or work life. On my own, I asked the investigating questions to learn which of my wounded parts was triggering the anger. The game shook me dearly, but I learned something about myself, which gave me a chance to integrate the wounded part into my consciousness and get closer to healing it.

Have you played any role-playing games? How was your experience in assuming the role?