How to Approach a Difficult Conversation
We all know stress is the enemy. Stress knocks down our immune system, gives us chronic pain and diseases, makes us angry and changes us in ways we don’t want. We also know that the cause of our stress could be anything – work, finances, family life, unrealistic expectations, a cluttered home, to name a few. But perhaps one of the most stressful situations we all face from time to time is a difficult conversation.
It seems everyone has a different piece of advice for approaching difficult conversations. But really, it comes down to how we deal with stress, all the stress in our life. We could start by acknowledging our feelings of stress and their source, and continue with taking care of ourselves by hydrating, sleeping and eating well and maintaining healthy relationships and goals. Also, we should not forget about physical exercise. When we face a tense or exciting situation, our body reacts to that. Sometimes we stress-sweat, which is an automatic, evolutionary reaction to stress experiences – or we freeze. No matter how we react, we do react to stress. Over time, stress blocks certain channels in our body. Any lack of physical activity can make the blockages deeper – and difficult situations and conversations harder.
In a lot of our modern cultures, our busy schedules have us sitting all day. We sit in meetings, we sit when we drive, we sit when we shop online, we sit when we read, we sit when we watch TV – and we sit when we talk to one another.
But do we have to sit when we have a conversation? Why don’t we conduct our conversations while walking?
When we walk, our bodies follow a natural rhythm and have the freedom to express themselves beyond words and facial expressions while having more space to breathe and be as they are. Besides, nobody is watching us to catch how we deliver a message or react to a message. Being on our feet, holding our body straight makes us more grounded. Letting our arms and legs move and our muscles relax makes stressful conversations less dreadful.
It may sound strange, but having conversations while dancing is another way of letting out things that may cause blockages in our systems. I remember the first improvisation class I took started with forming a circle of my classmates who were strangers at that time. Our teacher asked us to stretch and show our favorite stretching pose and tell something about ourselves. We took turns and the circle mimicked the favorite stretching of the person in turn, one by one. It was a great way of sharing and bonding with classmates. I also remember that after the ice breaking exercise, my classmates didn’t feel like strangers anymore. I sometimes practice this at home with my daughter to share reflections of the day. I wish that I could conduct some of my team meetings in that fashion at work.
Sometimes we acknowledge the call of our body to get up and move when we face stressful situations. Running, doing squats, making circles with our hips, backbends and inversions can help us get the stress out of our system.
